A Few of Reactor's Favorite MST3K Experiences - Reactor

Here at Reactor, many of us were at least partially raised by Mystery Science Theater 3000. Several of us comfort-watch the classics to fall asleep, we’ve gone to live MST3K events (together and separately), and most of us still queue up at least an episode or two around Thanksgiving, to honor the Turkey Day Marathons of years past.

In light of this Turkey Day tradition, we wanted to share some of Reactor’s favorite episodes. Since every host has their charm, we arranged our list by era to celebrate Joel, Mike, and Jonah… and then threw in some miscellaneous sketches and host segments at the end—some of them are just too good to leave out.

Joel!

Wild Rebels

“Anybody moves, I get high.” This might be why Crow is my favorite. —Emmet Asher-Perrin [Full episode available here]

Warrior of The Lost World

Of all the things for Mad Max to bring about, this might be the most baffling, which is saying a lot, really. —Emmet Asher-Perrin [Full episode available here]

Mitchell

It feels a bit cruel to call Joel’s last MST3K episode his best episode, but that’s exactly what Mitchell is. Much of the charm of this one actually comes from the host segments, which largely focus on the bots trying to save Joel from being killed by the Mads (or so they think). It’s a strangely effective bit of serial storytelling and a perfect send-off for Joel. 

Still, the star of the show is the movie itself. The only thing better than watching a perhaps less-than-sober Joe Don Baker bumble his way through an ambling mystery thriller is watching him do it to the sounds of the greatest original song in movie history. “My, my, my, my Mitchell” indeed. —Matthew Bird [Full episode available here]

I Accuse My Parents

I Accuse My Parents lives a stone’s throw away from the original version of Reefer Madness. It follows a youngster who falls in with a bad crowd only to (spoiler alert!) accuse his parents of not raising him properly. The only thing better than watching the whitest kids you know break bad is watching Joel and the bots feign indignation at the slightest moral scruples (“Man, everybody lies in this movie.”). —Matthew Bird

Catalina Caper

As a rule, I tend not to enjoy those ‘60s beach hippie hangout movies as either standalone experiences or MST3K fodder. However, Catalina Caper has a few things going for it that just work. The elaborate Little Richard music video sequence is a bizarre hoot, there’s enough of a heist storyline to keep things moving forward, and the generally lackadaisical nature of the pacing fits the dry humor of the Joel era of the show surprisingly well. —Matthew Bird [Full episode available here]

The Magic Voyage of Sinbad

Since it’s impossible to pick just three all-time favorite episodes, I’ve decided to start with the Joel episode I’ve probably seen the most over the years, The Magic Voyage Sinbad. I’d taped this off TV, along with a bunch of other comedy stuff (Kids in the Hall sketches, random stand-up, etc.), and my friends and I had it on heavy rotation all through high school and college—MST tapes are the main reason I kept a VCR around long after everyone had switched to DVDs. I also genuinely love this episode—I have a real soft spot for all the weird Russo-Finnish fantasy eps (shoutout to The Day the Earth Froze, another Joel favorite), and the riffs include a ton of great song/music references, some solid callbacks, and bits involving Mel Brooks and Monty Python quotes, Ed Grimley, and (of course) Sinbad the comedian. The “Rat Pack Chess Set vs. Chin-derwear” Invention Exchange cracks me up every time. But more than anything, this episode was a major comfort watch for me as I grew up, moved away to college and set out on my own—I can quote it endlessly, and I can’t imagine I’ll ever get tired of it. —Bridget McGovern

Eegah

Eegah was made in 1962, and was meant, I think, to launch the career of would-be teenybopper singer Arch Hal, Jr. Arch Hall, Sr. is the auteur behind the film, which features Arch Jr. adopting/kinda falling in love with a newly-discovered caveman played by Richard Kiel. I love the interplay between the ridiculousness of the film, and Joel and the ‘Bots’ depth of early-1960s, pre-Beatles pop culture references. It also includes this perfect host segment, which is a genuine underpinning to my own personal theology. —Leah Schnelbach [Full episode available here]

Operation “Double” 007

I’ve written before about how this was my first full episode of MST3K, but I’m not only including it for nostalgia’s sakeI think Operation Double 007 (or, perhaps, Operation Kid Brother) really is a great highlight of the Joel Years. The film itself is so weird, slapdash, and ill-conceived, the riffs are so fun, Joel and the ‘Bots’ frustration with the movie’s silliness (Neil Connery’s super spy power is READING LIPS) is so deserved, that the whole thing reaches the kind of joyful exasperation that became the hallmark of the Joel Era. —Leah Schnelbach

Mike!

The Brain That Wouldn’t Die

We use “help, I’m in another dimension!” and also “wait… there’s booze in this dimension” in this house regularly. —Emmet Asher-Perrin [Full episode available here]

Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

It’s Raul Julia. It’s dystopian future. It uses Casablanca as a means to throw a wrench in a broken society. Honestly, it’s great to watch on its own, but the having commentary helps on a first watch, and lets it occupy a different space in the MST3K canon; movies that kinda almost work. —Emmet Asher-Perrin [Full episode available here]

The Final Sacrifice

It’s maybe a cliché to list this one, but my main reason for bringing it up is the soundtrack co-chanting. It was a big deal to my child brain to realize I wasn’t the only person who did that. Also, Servo’s breakdown during the Canada song. —Emmet Asher-Perrin [Full episode available here]

Hobgoblins

This may be one of the rare MST3K episodes to riff on a bad ‘80s horror movie, but that makes it all the more of a “dream” episode than it already is. Yes, the cocaine and optimism-fuelled world of direct-to-video low-budget ‘80s horror is a treasure trove for bad movie lovers, but Hobgoblins is an especially awful example of that time and genre. It’s one of the absolute worst MST3K movies that still manages to be watchable enough, despite the hosts’ hilarious attempts to do everything in their power to escape having to finish it. —Matthew Bird [Full episode available here]

Space Mutiny

I don’t have a mantra in the traditional sense, though I often find myself ritually repeating the names “Slab Bulkhead, Punt Speedchunk, Bolt Vanderhuge, Smash Lampjaw, and Blast Hardcheese.” A sign of my growing insanity? Undoubtedly, but also a tribute to the greatest MST3K bit ever, in which Mike and the bots come up with increasingly absurd nicknames for the slab of beef that is Space Mutiny’s protagonist. That bit defines this episode and, arguably, the show, but the rest of this experience is a gem. —Matthew Bird [Full episode available here]

Werewolf

Werewolf’s generic title makes it easy to overlook if you’re looking for an MST3K episode to watch tonight. Allow me to assure you that absolutely nothing else about this movie or episode is generic, though. Described by MST3K member Kevin Murphy as a “gift from God,” this movie’s accents, special effects, plot, and characters are all wildly inconsistent in ways that will leave you questioning your sanity. As a bonus, it also features one of the greatest MST3K song interludes: Where, Oh Werewolf. —Matthew Bird [Full episode available here]

Jack Frost

My brain always puts Jack Frost on the same mental shelf as The Magic Voyage of Sinbad—it’s very Russian, and a bit trippier, and it’s just an all-timer for me. My college friend Rich had it on tape and it immediately became a dorm room staple that I still go back to every few years. You’ve got riffs referencing Tom Bombadil, Pippi Longstocking, the Ozark Mountain Daredevils, Ernest Borgnine, Waylon and Willie, Monty Python, and Ace of Bass, and as great as Mike and the bots are at making fun of it, it’s also the kind of movie that meets them halfway—it’s ridiculous in a thoroughly entertaining way. There are at least two lines that my friends and siblings still quote at random (one involves Servo’s impression of Janet Jackson, and the other is Mike’s deadpan “Robert Mapplethorpe’s Strega Nona,” which pops directly into my head any time Baba Yaga comes up in any context whatsoever. Honestly, it happens more than you might think). —Bridget McGovern

San Francisco International

Everything about this movie makes me happy. As Tom points out, “even the sky is brown in this movie”. Tab Hunter, disguised as a priest, takes a woman hostage at gunpoint, and Crow’s acidic response is “You know the church will just transfer this guy to another parish”! Everyone drinks scotch for lunch—at their job coralling airplanes with people on them! A boy hijacks a plane because his parents are getting a divorce, and his felony saves their marriage! San Francisco International makes me long for the glory days of made-for-TV-movies, and the days when there was a new episode of MST3K available every week. —Leah Schnelbach

Riding with Death

I would be remiss, as we go into Thanksgiving Weekend, to exclude a film that features its protagonist calling the villains “turkeys” on multiple occasions, an insult so Orange Plaid 1970s that Mike and the ‘Bots immediately pick it up and throw the word “turkey” around at every opportunity. But really this one lands on my list because, I love a stitched-t0gether slab of 1970s television as much as a fully-armed and operational 1970s television movie/pilot attempt. All of the commentary on Ben Murphy’s mellowness is gold, the fact that his character, Sam Casey, is a government agent who can turn invisible is perfectly unhinged, the horrifying trucker lingo sings, the second half of the film is about stock car racing, and in the first half, the ‘Bots keep up a running gag about the villain needing to attend to his patent papers that reaches beautiful heights of absurdity. —Leah Schnelbach [Full episode available here]

Jonah!

Cry Wilderness

To steal a quote from Reddit user gf120581, Cry Wilderness feels like a “sequel to a movie that was never made.” It picks up with a boy named Paul telling us about his long-time friendship with Bigfoot (of Bigfoot fame), and it just gets stranger from there. Seriously, the only thing less human than Bigfoot in this movie (who, it must be said, loves Coca-Cola and shouting “Paul!” in the most inexplicable way) are the performances of the other actors. Granted, I don’t know if my performance would fare better in a movie mostly made up of nature documentary B-roll, raccoon refrigerator raids, and a weirdly disparaging inspirational end credits song, but still. —Matthew Bird 

The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t

I find it easy to fall in love with movies about Santa battling his landlord over the rent of the North Pole. Nothing gets to the heart of the holiday spirit like fretting over money. But from its genuinely catchy opening song to its wavering attempts to offer a Christmas Carol-esque subplot, there is a genuine sense of Christmas spirit running through this episode that makes it an essential addition to your holiday watchlist. —Matthew Bird

The Land That Time Forgot

Many of the Netflix-era MST3K episodes are underrated, but The Land That Time Forgot has long been a personal favorite. The movie itself presents the shockingly watchable story of British and German soldiers who find themselves transported to a prehistoric land following a series of conflicts, mutinies, and general shenanigans. The film is technically better made than most MST3K fodder, but its genuine attempts to offer a Stan Winston-lite adventure make it that much easier to mock as the whole thing slowly falls apart. —Matthew Bird

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II

Since I know the obvious standouts Avalanche and Cry Wilderness are going to be covered, I decided to go with yet another goofy fantasy film (though I know this one is a little bit divisive). The 1989 sword-and-sorcery sequel Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II has almost no connection to the previous film (also covered in this season of the show), and it’s almost unbearably cheesy, but Jonah and the bots seem to be having a genuinely great time making fun of the campy villains, whiny teen hero, and the general kookiness of the plot and dialogue, and it’s just a really fun watch that reminds me of the best of classic MST. They start off strong with a few goofy references (Shel Silverstein! Bruce Vilanch!) and by the time they’re doing their “Emo Philips leaves home” bit I’m fully along for the ride—there also some great shout-outs to DEVO, Sparks, Brian Doyle-Murray as Susan Sontag, and a “bringing Skeksi back” joke that shouldn’t work, but it does (for me, at least…) —Bridget McGovern

Avalanche!

I have a soft spot for 1970’s disaster movies. Be they fires, floods, swarms of killer bees, or the wrath of Poseidon, I think the anarchist in me enjoys seeing powerful establishment types—cops, firefighters, pilots, um, ski resort owners—reckon with the uncaring power of NATURE. Because of this, out of all the episodes of the Jonah era, and even with Mac & Me in play, my favorite has to be Avalanche. Rock Hudson brings terrifying, erratic mood swings to the swingin’ 70s, Mia Farrow refuses to allow any expression of any kind to cross her face, and avalanche itself comes as something of a relief after being asked to care about this motley collection of skiers, figure skaters, and photographers who moonlight as experts on building codes. Jonah and the ‘Bots are absolutely merciless as they mock the ski resort and all the vapid rich bastards therein. But above all of this is the fact that someone survives the avalanche, only for their ambulance to go sailing off a cliff on the way to the hospital. This, friends, is why I watch cheesy movies. —Leah Schnelbach

Merlin’s Shop of Miscellaneous Sketches

Sometimes the movie is a little boring or the episode isn’t perfect, but there’s a sketch that lights with the heat of pure comedic genius. Sometimes there’s a particular line that sticks in your head for decades, and try as you might you CANNOT get the sucker out. We’re including some assorted stuff here because we love it, no MST3K list will ever be long enough, and, most of all: no one can stop us.

• We nearly included the black-and-white queasy terror that is Devil Doll in the main list, in part because of this amazing sketch.

• That time Crow dedicated a whole-ass host segment to a play about Peter Graves attending the University of Minnesota.

• A reminder that Mikey can’t have any matches.

•  The one where Crow is a Screaming Skull.

• One of the many benefits of MST3K is that you’ll learn a lot about the pop culture of the past! For instance, here’s Tom Servo singing about the ’70s.

• And here’s the greatest joke anyone’s ever told about Ingmar Bergman.

• And an info dump about the monsters of the world, in rap format.

• Perhaps you’d like a far-too-serious debate on the merits of stuffing versus potatoes?

And finally, whatever your personal holiday proclivities, we here at Reactor believe that everyone deserves to have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!

And now we turn it over to you, sirs, madams, enbys, mad scientists, and assorted robots—what are your favorite episodes and moments aboard the Satellite of Love?