Avengers: Endgame is finally here! We’ve all been following the MCU since Iron Man first came out of the superhero closet in 2008, and we have feelings.
A LOT OF FEELINGS. A lot of VERY SPOILERY feelings. This is your space to shout about the highs and lows of the movie, the moments that made you cheer and the beats that left you cold.
Seriously, did we mention spoilers? Don’t read this if you haven’t seen the movie yet.
Things We Adored
Tony and Nebula Onna Spaceship
The friendship between Nebula and Tony is always perfect. Their little goofy game also proves that Tony’s dad energy is increasing, as he has an implicit understanding that Nebula needs to win more often in her life. Her care for him and his injuries shows us that Nebula is full of compassion and love, and should be better appreciated, thanks.
Rat-eus Ex Machina
Without Scott Lang we can’t do time travel. Which means that the entire MCU hinges on this sweet rat tripping over the Pym tech at the right time. Imagine when Doctor Strange saw that in his 14 million visions of the future.
Rocket Putting It Into Perspective
Rocket reminding Tony that he’s only the biggest genius on Earth… ON EARTH. Heh. (He hadn’t yet met Princess Shuri of Wakanda, so he can be forgiven the error there.)
We Would (Also) Die For Morgan Stark-Potts
(Do not come at us with “that’s not her real last name,” because we are not about that.) Tony Stark has been practicing fatherhood since Iron Man 3—Harley was at Tony’s funeral, all grown up, and we will never be over this ever—and he finally gets to try it out full time with a perfect little girl named Morgan, whom he adores. She loves him 3000 in return. Our hearts could not be more full.
Everything That Occurs in the Avengers Time Hop
Hulk not wanting to smash. Loki making fun of Steve AGAIN. Thor putting that goofy muzzle on Loki just to stop him from being an annoying little brother all the way back to Asgard. Bruce getting astral-projected out of his body by the Ancient One. Tony making it clear that he constantly checks out Steve’s ass. Steve fighting himself, and realizing how tiring he can be. Steve appreciating his own ass. Tony letting Scott give him a heart attack. Ant-Man commenting on Tony’s choice of cologne (Axe Body Spray???), and, hell, the fact that Tony Stark has an emergency stash of cologne for those busy days when he’s sweaty from superhero-ing but might still have to meet with Secretary Pierce. Tony and Steve trusting each other. We could have spent half the movie here and been happy.
Buy the Book
Magic for Liars
“Hail Hydra.”
This was a great way of eye-rolling at the Marvel comic where Cap actually was a member of Hydra, while also giving fans an incredible callback to Winter Soldier.
Howard Potts
Tony taking his wife’s last name in order to hide his identity from his past dad in the past is so pure.
“On Your Left!”
SAM, YOU CAN’T JUST DO THIS TO OUR HEARTS. EVERYONE IS HERE. THEY ARE ASSEMBLING. MAGIC IS HAPPENING BEFORE OUR VERY EYES.
Our Spider-BB
Everything Peter Parker does forever. Especially explaining to Tony how Dr. Strange came to get everyone, and finally getting that long-awaited hug, and then him being the one to lean over Tony and tell him it’s gonna be OK.
Pepper is Rescue
TONY STARK MADE PEPPER POTTS A RESCUE SUIT. PEPPER GETS TO FIGHT SIDE BY SIDE WITH TONY AND ALL THE MCU LADIES AS RESCUE. PEPPER IS RESCUE. PEPPER POTTS FOREVER.
Cap Calls Mjolnir
Steve is capable of wielding Mjolnir in the comics, and fans have been clamoring for this to happen since Avengers proper. We got a tease of it in Age of Ultron, which just makes Thor’s glee over Steve’s ability to wield it that much sweeter. Also, Cap standing up against Thanos and THANOS’ ENTIRE ARMY when he thinks he’s alone on the battlefield (that gorgeous shot, oof) ranks high on our list of happiness. (A note from Leah: After an evening of thought, this is my favorite moment in the entire MCU.)
Dr. Strange’s One Chance
Dr. Strange and Tony Stark exchanging their meaningful #FacialHairBros look, and Strange letting Stark know that they’re in the right timeline now. A dramatic finger-raise has never been so potent.
“I am Iron Man.”
He ends the way he started. And we’re going to sit in the corner with tissues for the next few weeks. (Also, Tony Stark defeating Thanos because Big Purple was too self-congratulatory to think about the fact that his shiny new gauntlet is Stark tech, and therefore compatible with Tony’s entire body, is such perfect hubris.)
Sam is the New Cap
Our hearts grew three sizes when Steve handed over that shield. Sam is going to be such an incredible Captain America.
Things We Did Not Like At All
How Thor is Treated This Entire Film
Fat-shaming isn’t funny. Making Thor the butt of every joke because his PTSD is so terrible that he can’t do anything but drink and play video games isn’t funny. After the great work done with Thor in Ragnarok and Infinity War, this was the most disappointing possible way to treat the character.
They Try to Handwave Time Travel and Somehow Break… Everything
It’s all well and good to say that “going back to the past doesn’t change the future,” but you still need a consistent concept behind your time travel plot no matter how you’re choosing to handle it. Which this movie does not have. And now all timelines have been called into question and nothing makes sense, and Phase 4 of the MCU is probably going to be a lot of explaining around that, which doesn’t sound enjoyable at all.
Black Widow’s Sacrifice
Natasha Romanoff deserves better than this. Good night.
Hawkeye’s Ronin Side Story is Just… There
Saying that Clint is completely broken over the death of his entire family is a fine storyline. Saying that he commits questionable acts in the middle of that period is also fine. Having him hunt down the world’s gangs in a decision to become a moral judging force for the world in the wake of the Snapture is just… not needed in this film. It’s silly and breaks the momentum.
Professor Hulk
The office would never have predicted that they would be so split over hipster-glasses-and-sweater-wearing, selfie-taking and dabbing Bruce Banner. Leah is unnerved by the uncanny valley mashup of Bruce and Hulk, Emily is all for Bruce finding the balance that works for him, and Natalie just felt uncomfortable and unable to fully take this character seriously for the entire movie. What we can agree on, however, is that compared to every other iteration of the Hulk, Ruffalo’s stubbled face grafted on to the Other Guy is an absolute triumph of CGI.
Certain Moments in the Final Battle
Watching Valkyrie on her pegasus raking a Chitauri beastie to pieces while Peter swings by carrying the Iron Man Infinity Gauntlet while even more cameos spill out of Doctor Strange’s time portals was peak crossover: Every single person got a moment. But that adds up to a lot of individual moments that don’t quite jibe as a whole, sacrificing core character development in order to play Where’s Waldo, MCU edition. The best way we can sum it up is “thanks, I hate it.”
They Still Have a Soundtrack Problem
Endgame reused many of the same motif cues from Infinity War, not in a meaningful way but in a “we ran out of music” way. It makes the soundtrack seem like an afterthought to the worst possible extent.
The Endings Smack of “People Want to Stop Making These Films”
These character codas were major for the original Avengers, but they were also incredibly neat and tidy in a way that sometimes came off as cheesy. It didn’t work for everyone in our office, and made pieces of the film into a downer.
What parts of Avengers: Endgame got your theater applauding, and what parts did you wish you could jump into the Quantum Realm and retcon? Share yours in the comments!
