Thursday, October 10 is World Mental Health Day, and to commemorate the day, Brandon Sanderson beta readers Paige Vest and Ross Newberry are revisiting the author’s work to explore mental illness in comparison to the Hoed, the fallen Elantrians from Brandon’s first published work, Elantris.
Before we get started on our second foray into mental illness as we relate it to Sanderson’s work, we want to include a content warning for the topic of suicide. Please consider this warning if repeated discussion of suicide may cause you distress.
In addition, we must point out that neither of us is a mental health professional. The content of this article contains very personal anecdotal observations, and should not be construed as medical advice. If you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or others, please seek help from people who are trained to assist you. In the United States, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255, or chat by visiting the Suicide Prevention Lifeline Chat.
Paige: I’d like to begin by quoting from a Facebook note I posted on my wall four and a half years ago, just over two years after I received my diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. Though I’d suffered from the disorder for most of my life, I was still familiarizing myself with the ins and outs of what bipolar depression and mania meant (still am, tbh!). And I had something of an epiphany the night I wrote this note. Here’s a bit of it:
I’ve always felt deep empathy for the Elantrians because of their inability to heal physical injuries, and whatever details of the story may fade between re-reads, that aspect of the story has always stayed with me.
A camper died by suicide recently in the state park at which I work, and though I didn’t know the man, the incident has weighed heavily on my mind. Partly because of that tragic happening and partly because of other goings-on in my life, I’ve thought a lot about these book characters. These broken Elantrians. About how their injuries cumulate, one atop the other, until the pain is too much for them to bear. I’ve come—finally—to something of a realization regarding my feelings toward these characters. Allow me to quote from the coppermind.net wiki on the subject.
“…The Elantrian people stopped healing, so any injuries, however minor, remained indefinitely as painful as the moment they were received. Since the Elantrians were still immortal, some sank beneath the weight of their pain, losing their minds.”
THIS…is what bipolar depression feels like for me. Injury after injury, compounded one atop the other; only the injuries are mental and emotional rather than physical. They don’t often fade. They rarely lessen. They’re always there, fresh as the day they were received, building and building. The weight of them can become unbearable as time goes by.
It makes one better understand and appreciate how the Elantrians become Hoed, for that’s what happens to people who suffer from bipolar disorder and similar disorders. It becomes too much. And they just want a release from their pain.
Buy the Book
Elantris
Ross: As the “more neurotypical” side of this team, the cumulative nature of this stuff is incredibly unfamiliar to me. When I experience emotional stress or trauma, I tend to just… get over it. It can be intense at the time, but once I’m out of the situation, I breathe, and I center myself, and…it goes away. Poof. Gonezo. It’s rough to think of all the trauma stacking up and up and up ….
But enough about all that. Let’s dig into this issue.
P: For anyone who hasn’t read this excellent book…First, why not? Come on, it’s one book. Go read it because, seriously, this article will spoil the whole thing, if you care about such things. You’ve been warned. Second, a quick plot summary:
Elantris used to be a place of magic, and the Elantrians were gods in the eyes of people, with their ability to create and heal with a mere wave of the hand. But after a cataclysmic event, known as the Reod, the inhabitants of the city became “cursed,” and the city was sealed off from society.
R: And then…MAGIC ZOMBIES.
P: Cool, right? You definitely want to read this book. But if you haven’t and you insist on continuing, then let’s get to it.
We’re going to take a look at some key quotes from the book and I’ll talk about how they reflect the lived experience of mental illness and where they took me mentally and emotionally during my most recent reread of Elantris, almost seven years post-diagnosis.
Part 1: The Shadow of Elantris
Chapter 1
“Your body won’t repair itself like it should.” —Galladon
“Every pain, Sule, every cut, every nick, every bruise, and every ache—they will stay with you until you go mad from the suffering.” —Galladon
P: Galladon is the first reasonable person that Raoden meets upon being cast into Elantris after being taken by the Shaod (or Transformation), an event which used to turn people into living gods but now turns them into something like the living dead. Raoden is reeling, unable to find his bearings in his new and, let’s face it, horrifying situation. The other man calms him, and as he introduces Raoden to the reality of being an Elantrian post-Reod (see mention of a cataclysmic event above), the subject of injury and pain inevitably comes up. Numerous times.
There is a lot of repetition regarding the injuries suffered by Elantrians, and I primarily focused on these. But in Chapter 4, Galladon hits on something interesting in regards to the Hoed.
Chapter 4
“The cuts, the bruises, the stubbed toes…they pile up. One can only take so much.” —Galladon
“….The slightest scratch, no matter how negligible, added to an Elantrian’s pain. The more careful one was, the longer one stayed sane.”
“The Hoed, Galladon called them, those Elantrians who had succumbed to the pain. Their minds lost, their lives were filled with continual, unrelenting torture.”
P: The Hoed… Elantrians who can’t die, but have sustained so much injury and suffer from so much pain that they can no longer function. They are pain; it is all they can feel, all they focus on. It overwhelms them. And they sink into despair and hopelessness, lying in gutters and moaning their pain for whoever will listen.
This feels much like my experience with bipolar depression in that the compounded pains can drive me to lose what hope I may once have had, and it drains my will so completely that not only can I not get out of bed and function as a normal human adult, I simply don’t want to. I no longer care about keeping up appearances.
I experience this more often than I’d like to admit, and it’s exceedingly difficult to put on that normal face and tell friends, family, and coworkers that I’m fine. I’m okay.
Most of them were quiet but few were completely silent. As he passed, Raoden could hear their mumbles, sobs, and whines. Most seemed to be repeating words and phrases to themselves, a mantra to accompany their suffering.
“Domi, Domi, Domi…”
“So beautiful, once so very beautiful…”
“Stop, stop, stop. Make it stop…”
P: Just, oof. I hadn’t recalled the mantras of the Hoed before my recent reread, but upon seeing this line, I could hear myself doing it, too. Trying to talk myself out of a panic attack…trying to bring myself down below the emotion enough to think rationally…trying to convince myself that I’m okay. “Shh… you’re okay. You’re fine. Just stop now. You’re fine.”
And in Chapter 22:
Raoden began to feel sick as they walked toward the chapel, the mounting pains of his several dozen bruises and scrapes suddenly pushing against him with suffocating pressure. It was as if his body were encased in a blazing fire—his flesh, bones, and soul being consumed in the heat.
Must be strong. They need me to be strong. With an inner groan of defiance, Raoden pushed through the haze of agony and managed a weak smile. “I’m fine.”
P: I’m fine. I’m okay. This made me smile sardonically when I read it. I know that Sanderson wrote these characters to be suffering crippling physical pain but I’ll be damned if some of these phrases aren’t speaking directly to me and the mental and emotional pain I’ve experienced throughout my life. I’m not fine, I’m not okay, but I say the words anyway, for a variety of reasons: So that people don’t worry. So that people don’t look at me a bit sideways if I say how I really am. So that I appear to be normal. I’m fine. I’m okay. Mmm…lies.
R: Do you want to talk about the Wearing of Masks at this point? The way you’ve talked about putting on a mask to hide the Real You from other people, so you can avoid drawing more attention to yourself and your problems, and just sort of…keep on trucking?
P: I definitely do this. And often, when speaking my mantra to calm down, I’m out somewhere, at work or anxiety parking as I try to make myself go into the store. I have to calm my panic and become someone else, much as Raoden does when he becomes Spirit as a new Elantrian. He doesn’t want who he really is to be a distraction to those he’s trying to help rise above their pain…
“It was as if Elantris was intent on dying, a city committing suicide.”
P: This is one line that I wish I could change in this book full of quotes that are so relevant to my illness. I would have said “a city attempting suicide.”
R: You’ve mentioned this to me before. This is because “commit” is normally used to refer to actions that are illegal or immoral, and that the act of suicide as an ultimate escape from the pain and suffering shouldn’t be considered as selfish or immoral, yes?
P: That’s it, exactly, yes. I truly feel that the word “committing” in relation to suicide just increases the stigma surrounding mental illness and the suicidal ideation of those who suffer. I think it’s important to note the distinction, and why it’s meaningful.
“… and here, even a couple of slight cuts can be more devastating, and more agonizing, than a swift decapitation.” —Galladon
P: This may sound ridiculous, but it’s so true. For many who suffer, such as myself (it’s difficult to keep turning this on me and my experience; I want to hide behind they), there is a genuine belief that a quick end to the pain is preferable to the continuation of their/my often agonizing existence.
Yes, I speak of suicide. However, let me talk about ideation for a moment. Suicidal ideation isn’t necessarily a plan, which is therapy-speak for, okay, let’s get this person into an inpatient program, STAT! To my understanding, ideation is more the idea of ending the pain. It’s wanting a break from the blackness of bipolar depression that siphons any joy one might take in normal, everyday pleasures. It’s not necessarily a desire to be dead—it’s just wanting the pain to stop, somehow. It’s wanting to be away.
Chapter 7
“I have to keep moving, Raoden repeated to himself, keep working. Don’t let the pain take control.”
P: This development was also familiar to me. Raoden thinks that he has to keep himself distracted from the pain, so as not to let it take control of him.
We all have something that does this for us and fortunately, I have many such things. First and foremost is my perfect new granddaughter, who is almost one year old. She is the best and most effective medicine I’ve found in the nearly seven years since my diagnosis. There’s also my writing, which is my emotional outlet and pressure valve. My friends, some of whom are literally my saviors. My cats. Yes, my cats—they ground me when I’m home alone and the monsters start to whisper in my mind. They give me a reason to rise above the pain because who else would take care of them?
R: Whatever works, sister. WHATEVER WORKS.
P: Yes, whatever works. Everybody has something to keep them moving, and it’s not terribly difficult to find that something, if we but look. So look, as often as it takes.
Chapter 10
“What purpose can we have besides suffering?” —Galladon
“We need to convince ourselves we can go on…. If we can restore even a tiny bit of hope to these people then their lives will improve drastically.” —Raoden
P: Despite Galladon being a reasonable person for Raoden to latch himself to once he arrives in Elantris, the Dula can skirt close to the edge of despair, as would any post-Reod Elantrian. Raoden tells him that they need to convince themselves that they can go on, and I found this phrasing extremely enlightening.
Sometimes, when in the grips of depression, I have to find a reason to get out of bed, to go to work, to attend a function, even to just to go into the store for cat food.
R: [aside] Those cats might be a bigger deal than you think…
P: If you ask them, they definitely are!
Raoden is spot on when he talks about the restoration of hope. Hope is so difficult to find in the darkest depths of depression, but it’s there. Read that again. It is there…we just have to keep looking, and hold on to anything we might find that can pull us out. It may be a task left unfinished…or it could be the hand of a friend, reaching for us, to pull us out of the muck…it may be a child that we can’t bear to leave behind. It may be a project at work that you want to see through to completion. And then it might be something else, then something else, and so on. But as down as I can be in my life, I still know that there is hope for each of us and I desperately search for it when I’m at my lowest. Guess what? I usually find it, even if it’s just a smidge of brightness at the end of a dark tunnel. I find it, and I reach for it.
R: And your friends are very glad you do. And I think it’s important to point out to everyone reading this: if someone you care about struggles with depression, or mania, or suicidal ideation of any kind, please don’t wait for them to reach out to you. Make sure they know that they matter to you. Something as simple as that can make you the tiny ray of light they end up reaching for.
P: I can’t begin to stress how very true this is. And how very important.
Chapter 13
“The pain and hunger were always there but things were going so well that he could almost forget the pain of his half dozen bumps and cuts.”
“They say you have a secret that makes the pain go away. My injuries are almost too much. I figured I could either give you a chance or go find myself a gutter and join the Hoed.” —Kahar
P: Raoden manages to provide the Elantrians who come to him for help with a solution to their pain and their maddening hunger: he gives them purpose. With Kahar, we see the Elantrian ask Raoden if, once he cleans as he’s asked to do, he will then be given the secret to feeling better. After a time, he realizes that by being given a purpose, a meaningful task, that he has already found the secret to feeling better.
This is not such a far-fetched idea. In my experience, when I’m feeling especially dark, I usually will feel better if I have a task, such as writing a story for a competition or helping to plan my granddaughter’s first birthday party. These kinds of things can actually distract me from depression. That’s not to say that it stays gone, but rising above it can do wonders for a while.
These people, even the newcomers, were dangerously close to losing hope. They thought that they were damned and assumed that nothing could save their souls from rotting away.
We see the text at this point talking of how Raoden reacts to the air of despair in the city with “defiant optimism.” It continues, “The worse things get, the more determined he was to face it without complaint. But the forced cheerfulness took its toll.”
He defies the dying city and the way it drags down its inhabitants, many of whom he knows are relying on him…he thinks about how he can’t let his own pain show.
This is also remarkably similar to how it can feel to be sunken into a deep depression. If there’s a purpose I find important, or a person I don’t want to let down, I will do my best to stuff the darkness away into a corner of my mind and show the world as happy a face as I can muster. I’m fine. I’m okay.
I will force as much fake cheerfulness as I can into my attitude, if only to reassure people that I’m okay and can continue with whatever needs to be done. Hey, “fake it till you make it” can have many strategic uses, and sometimes, you fake it until you really do feel better. It’s a thing, and it’s worth a try when you can’t find anything else to lift you up.
R: I’ll point out here that, while faking it till you make it can work, your friends are still going to give you serious side-eye and worry about you as you do.
P: I’m grateful to have friends that give me that side-eye!
“He wasn’t sure how long he would last. After barely a week and a half in Elantris, he was already in so much pain it was sometimes difficult to focus. How long would it be before he couldn’t function at all?”
“I am worried about life. Not just survival, Galladon, life.” —Raoden
“It was as if he floated through darkness itself, unable to speak, completely alone. Perhaps this was what death would bring, his soul set adrift in an endless, lightless void.”
“It takes them all from us. It takes everything, and leaves us with nothing.” —Karata, re: the Reod
Raoden, re: Karata: “She was tired; he could see it in her eyes. Now, if the time came, she could rest.”
P: Sanderson’s exploration of suicide in relation to his characters in Elantris was spot on. All of this talk of people yearning for an end to their pain is incredibly familiar for someone like me, who has battled mental illness for forty years and who has often wished for relief.
R: I really wish I had something more to say here, but… *hug*.
Chapter 16
“The man had come looking for a magical solution to his woes, but he had found an answer much more simple. Pain lost its power when other things became more important.”
P: Again, we touch on distraction as a healthy coping mechanism (“healthy” provided it’s not causing you or others harm, and it’s legal!). Pain can indeed lose its power when other things are important to you. However, this doesn’t mean that any medications you may be taking or therapy you may be receiving are less important than your chosen coping mechanism. Keep those going! Definitely keep those going unless and until you and your doctor/therapist decide otherwise.
Chapter 18
“The pain remained; it was growing so strong that it even corrupted his dreams. He had dozens of tiny wounds and bruises now… He could feel each one distinctly, and together they formed a unified frontal assault on sanity.”
P: A. Unified. Frontal. Assault. On. Sanity. YES. This. They may be tiny wounds, physical for Raoden but mental and emotional for me, but there are dozens. Scores. Hundreds. After forty years of illness, there are thousands. You’ve heard of “death by a thousand cuts”? Yes. Even a thousand tiny paper cuts will drive you mad. So consider that if you encounter someone who seems to overreact to something you perceive as something that’s no big deal—this moment, this problem, may be their thousandth cut.
I once tried to explain this to someone using a glass of water. Not literally, I’d have had to clean up after myself. But I described it as pouring water into a glass. Sometimes it was a few ounces, sometimes it was a drop. But everything that hurt, mentally or emotionally, anything that was upsetting in some way, added to the amount of water in the glass. Before long, it was full, and even one more drop would cause it to overflow. It’s not always that thousandth cut, that last drop of water that causes a dive into depression or a breakdown—it’s all of the cuts and all of the drops that came before.
“The pain still burned him. It threatened him every morning when he awoke and stayed with him every moment he was conscious…. He filled his days, leaving no empty moments to contemplate his suffering. Nothing worked. The pain continued to build.”
P: Sadly, this is a reality when one suffers from most types of depression, and perhaps most especially bipolar depression. I can’t tell you what sets it apart from chronic or situational depression, as I’ve never actually experienced those varieties on their own, but bipolar depression is all of this, all the time: unrelenting, unceasing, and unending, as there’s no cure for bipolar disorder.
Finding that all-important purpose and seeking out healthy distractions, learning new coping mechanisms, adding more tools to your toolbox, finding ways to help others—these are all things that I can do to pull myself from my depression as much as I can. And I do them whenever I can, because the alternative is not truly an option.
Ideation is not a plan. Again: Ideation is not a plan. If someone you know and maybe love is talking about suicide, even in a seemingly joking manner, it could be a cry for help. It could be the only way they know to reach out and explain or give voice to that ideation. Don’t downplay it. It’s difficult to know how to handle such a situation, but ignoring it isn’t recommended.
As always, there are resources available; there is a veritable ton of helpful information on the internet for you and/or for your loved one who may be in trouble. Help lines, chat lines … see the above links and phone numbers; in fact, here they are again: in the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255, or chat by visiting the Suicide Prevention Lifeline Chat.
Read the plethora of available articles, testimonials, research papers, and treatments. You name it, you can find it, for any mental health issue. Use the internet: seek out the National Alliance On Mental Illness (NAMI) and the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH, but not the mousy one as seen in the animated movie!). Check out MentalHealth.gov, the World Health Organization (WHO) website, the Mayo Clinic’s website, TeenMentalHealth.org. Use your resources. For yourself, and for those you love. It’s worth the research, I promise you. So worth it.
“Those people gave in to their pain because they couldn’t find purpose—their torture was meaningless, and when you can’t find reason in life, you tend to give up on it.” —Saolin
P: This is so true, and I’ll harp on it as much as I need to in order to get the point across. Though obviously not in this particular paragraph.
Chapter 25
Raoden would have to do a great deal of rebuilding…. Assuming of course that he survived long enough. The casual thought brought a sudden awareness of his pains. They were with him as always, burning his flesh and eating at his resolve. He no longer counted them, though each one had its own feeling—an unformed name, a sense of individual agony.
Or maybe his pain wasn’t stronger. Maybe he was just weaker than the others. Either way, he wouldn’t be able to endure much longer. A day would soon come, in a month or maybe two, when he would not awaken from his pain […] he could finally give full devotion to his jealous agony.
….He tried to let the work distract him, and it helped a little. However, the pain still lurked within, like a beast hiding in the shadows, its red eyes watching with intense hunger.
P: I found this passage to be extremely interesting. I often refer to my demons, and anyone who knows me will recall at least some mention of them, or of monsters. I’d quote song lyrics here about my monsters being real, if I thought I could get away with it as I do on my Facebook feed.
The description here is striking and so easy to relate to because those individual agonies, those compounded pains burning Raoden’s flesh, truly are like a beast hiding in the shadows. Just as mental agonies are like demons and monsters in my head, whispering their lies which are far too easy to believe. Far too easy to believe without a solid support system, without medication, without therapy, without coping mechanisms, without purpose, without hope. These are the things that defeat the monsters, friends. Use them. Fight. FIGHT.
“No matter what else happened, Raoden always spent a few hours each day drawing his Aons. It comforted him—he felt the pain less when he was drawing Aons…”
P: This is me, with my writing. If I know that I can play around in an imaginary world where I’m not in constant pain, it can reduce that pain, or at least provide some temporary escape.
This is me with work, with competitions, with helping friends through their own issues, with anything and everything I can find to distract me from the darkness that tries on the daily to consume me. It comforts me. It helps me to feel the pain less. Embrace whatever beloved pursuit you can turn to which results in comfort and less pain.
“We put him in,” Raoden guessed, kneeling to lower the Elantrian into the pool. The man floated for a moment in the vivid sapphire water, then released a blissful sigh. The sound opened a longing within Raoden, an intense desire to be free of his pains both physical and mental.
P: In an interesting turn of events, Raoden and Company discover a Hoed who was Elantrian before the Reod ruined the magic and rendered those taken by the Shaod little more than the living dead (when they used to be like gods, pre-Reod). The man, who is in unimaginable pain after ten years of compounded injuries and feelings of failure (the Elantrians suffer mental wounds, as well, of course), convinces Raoden to end his pain. He directs Raoden, Galladon, and Karata to a pool, outside the walls of the city and up a mountain (can’t be easy, can it?). When he is placed in the pool, he feels relief as he is able to let go of his pain, and he just … disappears. The effect on Raoden is immediate:
The pain screamed; his body shook as if it knew how close it was to relief. All he had to do was fall…. Raoden stood, stumbling as he backed away from the beckoning pool. He wasn’t ready. He wouldn’t be ready until the pain ruled him—as long as he had will left, he would struggle.
P: Once Raoden finds a way to escape his pain, he realizes that he’s not ready to do so, not yet. He has more to do, he feels that he can handle more pain. He still has the will to fight. And that can make all the difference. Not giving up, taking that all-important next step, much like Dalinar Kholin in The Stormlight Archive. Finding that next goal to reach for, that next vital task, like Kaladin Stormblessed. Keep *ahem* going.
Part 2: The Call of Elantris
Chapter 28
Raoden’s own longings warned him how dangerous the pool was. There was a part of him that wanted to seek out its deadly embrace, the refreshment of destruction. If the people knew that there was an easy, painless way to escape the suffering, many would take it without deliberation….
Letting them do so was an option, of course. What right had he to keep the others from their peace?
P: Raoden learns of an escape for Elantrians in unutterable pain, and ponders the question of “keeping them from their peace.” He never does tell anyone else of the pool, besides his closest friends. What he does do is make those friends promise to take him there once he succumbs to his pains and becomes Hoed. But he wants everyone else to keep fighting, to keep trying, to keep living.
“The pain swelled with each passing day. It drew strength from the Dor, bringing him a little closer to submission with its every assault. Fortunately, he had the books to distract him.”
P: Distraction! It works, people! I’ll say it again: do the healthy distracting things.
Chapter 34
“The pain had grown. Sometimes it struck with such ferocity that Raoden collapsed, struggling against the agony. It was still manageable, if only barely, but it was growing worse.”
P: Even in the midst of good days, good weeks, good months, there is the fear that the pain will return with reinforcements. And if you suffer from bipolar depression, than you can be assured that it will. But remember that it’s still manageable. Somehow.
Reach out to friends or family (trust me, I know how hard this is to do, but it’s important to suck it up and do it, they’re not mind readers). Find a goal. That’s my thing, goals. I find a purpose, a point in the future that I want to reach, such as my granddaughter’s first birthday. Such as my daughter’s twenty-fifth birthday. Such as the Starsight release in November. Such as JordanCon (is it April, yet?). Find a worthy distraction, as I’ve done with my writing. Survive.
Chapter 49
“It burst free like a beast that had been kept trapped in a small space for far too long. It almost seemed … joyful.”
P: Remember the monsters. Slay those damn things. Slay them. It’s possible. I promise. They may come back but you know what you do then? Slay them again.
Part 3: The Spirit of Elantris
Chapter 59
“Each wound stung sharply, never deadening, never weakening.”
“The soul that was Raoden crumpled beneath their combined weight, giving a final sigh of resignation. After that, there was no longer pain, for there was no longer self. There was nothing.”
P: What I love about this is that Raoden thinks there is nothing. But even in his despair and his surrender to his pain, he is still going over his problem in his mind. His mystery that he’s spent the entire book trying to figure out: what happened to the magic during the Reod, that cataclysmic event that caused the downfall of Elantris and its gods? He’s still chewing on that, so has he really given up? Is there really nothing left?
Spoiler alert: No. He hasn’t. And, no, there’s not.
Chapter 61
Come, it said, I give you release….
Come, it pled. You can finally give up.
No, Raoden thought. Not yet.
P: This is where I’ll leave you: with the moment that Raoden, in the sapphire pool, has the opportunity to gain the ultimate release from his ever-increasing and undeniable pain. Yet he doesn’t do it. He decides to go on, because he’s discovered something to help the other Elantrians, something to fix their broken magic. And he thinks, not yet…he’s not ready to go. Raoden won’t surrender his pain. Instead, he takes the next step; as would Dalinar, and other Sanderson characters who refuse to give up. And then he takes the next.
As will I. As will you, my friend.
***
Paige and Ross: And so we come to the end of yet another discussion on mental illness—both in real life and how it’s reflected the works of Brandon Sanderson. In discussing our thoughts and experiences, we hope that we were able to stress the importance of distractions and coping mechanisms, of knowledge and of hope.
Collected together to make them easier to find, here are those important links (mentioned above) again:
In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255, or chat by visiting the Suicide Prevention Lifeline Chat.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI); The National Institute on Mental Health (NIMH); MentalHealth.gov, the World Health Organization (WHO); the Mayo Clinic; TeenMentalHealth.org.
Also, please feel free to reach out to Paige if you need to talk, about this article or the previous discussion, about anything. She’ll encourage you to seek professional help, if you aren’t already doing so, or to do the same for your loved one, but she’ll happily listen to anything you want to chat about. Her Facebook profile is included in her Tor profile. And she’s serious about pinging her to chat. She likes to chat.
Thanks for sticking with us through this discussion—we know it can be tough, but keep your chin up and keep on fighting.
Paige resides in New Mexico, of course, and writes to stay sane. No, really. She’s fully into baseball fangirl mode as she roots on her New York Yankees in the postseason. Don’t judge. Links to her work are provided in her profile.
Ross lives in Atlanta, Georgia with his wife and two sons. He engineers software in the daytime and writes in the nighttime and occasionally plays some guitar.
Really wonderful discussion. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
Thank you Paige and Ross. I deeply appreciate this dive into Elantris and your personal struggles.
Elantris was the second thing I read of Sanderson’s after Mistborn. While I think the story has some “first book” problems – the writing made me wonder who in Brandon’s life had depression – of some form.
It really does convey the emotions well. For a long time I thought depression was something that skipped me, but hit other family members. Then I realized, I used the “next goal” thing as my coping method. The times I am without a “next goal” are the hard ones.
Braid Tug @2: I’m amazed that having suffered bipolar depression for my entire life, I only just saw the correlation between it and the Hoed some four and a half years ago. I first read Elantris in 2007, IIRC, as soon as Brandon was announced to finish WoT, and though I loved it, I didn’t make that leap.
Thanks for reading! <3
Lorena @1: Thanks for reading! Glad you enjoyed the article. :)
The quotes read like aging to me (I also have chronic physical and mental health issues). As you get older, injuries and health conditions don’t heal in the same way and they accumulate. Sometimes they don’t get better. And you just have to put up with them and go on. And hope that you get to go on!
Sterling @5: Yes, in the book, they refer to physical pain… but where my mind usually exists, those pains are mental and emotional.
I agree that aging smacks of Elantrian pain, though! :)
Can I just say how much I appreciate this: “the act of suicide as an ultimate escape from the pain and suffering shouldn’t be considered as selfish or immoral”. People who call suicide selfish have no idea what they’re talking about. Since they can’t imagine that much pain, they focus on the more relatable pain of the family and from there, to blame. As someone who has had suicidal ideation and who’s sister killed herself years ago, I know that to be ignorance and lazy thinking. (It also wasn’t a “temporary problem” as people always say- although that line does apply to many situations, not all mental illness is treatable.)
I haven’t read this book but upon discovery of this pool, the fact that he didn’t immediately run back and tell all those people lying in ditches about it horrified me. He knew enough about pain to make sure he’d get his release but didn’t want to share it with everyone else? I can understand not wanting the people teetering on the edge to go but goddamn. It’s not his choice. People act like death is the ultimate enemy and it’s not. We’ll all end up dead soon and forever. Death isn’t the enemy, pain is.
I have been fortunate enough not to have suffered from mental illness, and as far as I know, I do not have any friends who have it, either. I knew it was hard, living with one, but I never realized just how hard it could be. Comparing it with the situation of the Hoed has been quite eye-opening … You, Paige, and others who are affected by something like it are far more braver than I would have thought. My respect, and all my good wishes for slaying the demons.
Also, I just have to. “I’d quote song lyrics here about my monsters being real” – I have not seen your Facebook page (yet), but can it … can it have been Brent who said that? :) (I know he did, too!)
I really love these perspectives on his characters and books. I’ve never been diagnosed with any variation of depression, but I’ve had moments and stretches where it definitely reared its head. And I relate to much of what was said here, especially about Ideation.
It is incredibly easy to feel isolated and utterly alone in having those feelings and thoughts, so reading things like this and having it reaffirmed that you are not the only one struggling is immeasurably helpful in providing one of those little rays of hope you mentioned.
Also, I’m definitely ready for it to be April and time with tribe.
– Danyelle
Marina @7: Yes, we feel very strongly about people stigmatizing suicide. I touched on this in our last article, too, and always try to turn people’s way of thinking if they’re in the blame camp.
That said, I’m sorry for your loss and I hope your sister has found her peace.
I agree that Raoden keeping knowledge of the pool secret was kind of selfish and arrogant. That really bothered me upon rereading and remembering that tidbit.
But thanks for reading, we appreciate it!
Celebrinnen @8: Indeed, it was Brent! I quote song lyrics on FB all the time (my page is in my profile here, stop by!) but not here!
And thanks very much for your kind words. Navigating the world with a brain that doesn’t work as it should can be trying, to say the least. I appreciate your open mind and your willingness to read the article and comment! :)
kyshael @9: I know! Aprilllll, hurrryyyy…
You know most people do experience at least situational depression at some point in their lives, often more than once. Break ups, loss of loved ones, job loss, you name it, it can cause depression. So many people don’t know how to deal with it and truly, don’t know that they’re not alone. I push links on people ALL THE TIME, because knowledge is power, love.
Can’t wait to see you. <3
Today I feel unusually compelled to say “magic zombies” are NOT cool to some of us. My mental health condition is anxiety, and zombies are just a flat NO.
Somewhat off-topic: I am frustrated to find so few books mentioned on tor.com that don’t have paranormal or horror elements or monsters. I’m also not much into plots centered on violence (especially war). YA used to be somewhat safe for me….
Maybe this is current fashion, or perhaps SF&F has always been this way and my mental health is worse (probably a combination of all three).
Let’s have “5 Great SF&F Books that Won’t Trigger Your Anxiety or Depression.”
I have chronic pain of an unknown source (officially fibromyalgia) with no known treatment; my limbs hurt for a while after I do things which don’t hurt “normal” bodies, like computer use or prolonged standing. I also have a bleeding disorder – cuts clot slowly, bruises can be especially bad, and any action that might cause internal bleeding (e.g. taking most painkillers and antidepressants) is unacceptably risky. So I found the Elantran brand of body horror both relatable and unimaginably horrible – a body that doesn’t heal itself in all the little ways that most of us, including me, take for granted, getting ever more pained and injured forever. I also have depression, driven largely though not exclusively by the pain; the pain-based despair, fear, and frustration has grown less acute in the 10 years since the pain and depression began, but never vanished. So I can relate to the Elantrans’ pain and resulting despair, to some degree.
But the Cosmere portrait of depression that I really relate to is in Stormlight Archive. Kaladin’s thoughts and feelings echo my own to an amazing degree. There’s inspiration to be found in the way he feels these things and keeps going, even in the middle of an apocalypse, because people need him.
Overall, by most accounts, Sanderson writes about mental illness very, very well. So I was very surprised by this quote from a signing:
My first reaction: What?! No. Storm that. How could you? I’m the opposite. I’d like to get rid of my severe visual impairment, but it’s very much a part of me – it has shaped my every moment of experiencing the world since I was born, and I can’t imagine what life would be like without it. Depression is something that happened to me as an adult, changing the person I was and the life I was living. I may never be rid of it, but I fight it, and I’m revolted and dismayed by the notion of accepting it as a part of my core personality and identity. We have enough trouble getting the general public to understand that mental illness is illness, as worthy of treatment and hard to control as any other illness, and I don’t understand why Sanderson of all people is fueling that misconception!!
My subsequent reaction: OK, Kaladin’s depression has been lifelong, so maybe it is a seemingly-inextricable part of him, like my visual impairment. And there are others like him, and people like that “hyper kid” who face barriers more societal than internal. And maybe my depression is more like the physical injuries that Stormlight can heal because they’re not part of the healed person’s core self-image. I guess it varies by personal experience, and nobody should claim there’s a one-size-fits-all divide between things that affect the brain and things that affect other body parts.
I said some of the above in a comment on the other post, but felt like repeating and expanding on it here.
When used as a coping mechanism, goals must be chosen carefully. Short-term goals, taking care of oneself and/or others, can provide momentum to keep going moment by moment. Lift in Stormlight Archive said the most inspiring and helpful thing about that for me, though she wasn’t referring to depression: “We gotta remember. Storm may be coming, but people still need to eat. The world ends tomorrow, but the day after that, people are going to ask what’s for breakfast. That’s your job.” Longer-term, choosing an achievement we can actively strive toward or an event to look forward to and prepare for – wanting something we might be able to get — can also be a focus for actions and a reason to keep going. But my depression is born partly from disappointment at goals that proved unreachable due to things beyond my control – jobs I didn’t get, a job I got an couldn’t keep, dreams of careers which I learned would be made impossible by my disabilities. It mires me deep in burning bitterness, where daring to hope and risking further failure are among the most mentally-difficult things to do. Important, yes, but so hard. Choosing to strive for something that might or might not destroy me with success or failure, to stand tall and face the possibility of a fall (appropriating a quote from this week’s Oathbringer Reread chapter), is in itself a worthy but monumental goal.
And then there’s the value and limitations of distraction from despair produced by events not currently involving me. I see people talking about the world’s terrible present and worse future, and wonder how they can pay full attention to that and still function. But I’ve found that many of them have this particular type of grief and fear suppressed inside. I learned it in the spaces designated for releasing it together, to speak our dreads in harshest terms, to sob and wail as adults aren’t supposed to do. My memories of those places aren’t exactly good, but they helped me believe, at least for a little while, that sometimes we can mentally face the full force of our emotions and be crumpled and then somehow get up and continue living. So sometimes a break from distraction can also be a coping mechanism. (The Stormlight Archive heroes have a bit of a different dynamic in this area. They’re unavoidably in the middle of a planet-wide cataclysm, on the front lines of fighting a powerful foe. But they are also magically and politically powerful (and physically reslilient) in ways most of us aren’t, truly able to ‘make a difference’ in the cosmic war. But sometimes even they feel helpless nonetheless, from extenal events and forces, their own inner demons, or unified combinations thereof).
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I don’t have anything to add, but I really appreciate this article. One of the things I find so interesting about Sanderson’s work is how he refines certain concepts and themes in each successive series/work. Depression, anxiety, and mental health in general seem to be one of those themes that once you see it, you can’t stop seeing it in everything he writes.
I have chronic depression but after years of wearing a normal mask and hiding inside they developed a medicine that worked for me. I still feel situational depression but mostly I just feel like me now. Not every depression is mind over matter. I did all the “right” things, I kept on going, I added physical activity and all the other stuff that is supposed to help but didn’t. Then bam, (well, bam after years of trying different meds that didn’t work) I was OK.
There are also those unfortunate enough to suffer chronic pain. They match up to what happens in Elantris. They are the ones I thought of when reading it. I’m embarrassed to say I never thoguht of Zombies. I can’t believe it myself.
I can easily connect with the Elantrians and I didn’t make that connection the first time I read Elantris. I dealt with depression for several years following the death of my sister so I know the need to always take that next step. I’ve just recently started dealing chronic pain issues with being diagnosed with arthritis at the age of 29 so that has been a shakeup for me. Not being able to do what I love because of it. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.
Thanks for writing this article! It was just as good as the one from last year.
@14 – I totally agree with you here. I do understand in a way what Sanderson is going for (and I fully support it in his assessment of Renarin, for example, whose autism/non-NT symptoms are not healed even though his epilepsy is). But I think some mental differences/disorders are just that – disorders. I’ve suffered with some form of both depression and anxiety my entire life. Nothing SO serious that it was dehilabilitating, but suicidal ideation is honestly just something I’ve learned to accept and deal with (in fact, I have a cheesy diary entry from high school/early college where I actually do describe depression as a ‘predatory lion’ as I was coming to terms with the fact that it would probably be a constant in my life, even if managed).
I have a kind of melancholic, macabre personality – that’s part of it. I’m also rather high strung, which is also part of it. But when taken to an extreme, they become something else. I actually had some subconscious resistance to treating my anxiety because I worried it would make me ‘unproductive’ and ‘not me’. In reality, unmanaged anxiety just meant I was spinning my wheels and not able to actually BE me.
The way I can handwave it in my mind is that it’s also a part of identity, similar to Kaladin’s brand. He still views it as a part of himself.
But – that said, overall, I’m grateful to Sanderson for the way he has been writing about these topics and characters. I put off reading this for awhile, but thank you so much for writing it!
@20: I also have anxiety, which has been with me all my life but is usually not debilitating except in times of exceptional stress. Considering the subject further, I think anxiety is part of my identity and personality in the way depression is not — it has always affected my actions and perceptions, and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without it. (Especially since it runs in my family, so I grew up amid other people who displayed that frame of mind). I have to manage it, cognitively and medicinally, but I accept it as part of myself — while fighting the depression as an invader that changes me but isn’t me, that may never be exterminated but can and must be endlessly beaten back by medication, mind, and circumstances if I am to survive. So I think lifelong vs. later-onset, and degree of severity, can be factors in a person’s relationship to their mental illness.
@@@@@ Aerona 14
Essentially this. It gets more elaborated on elsewhere in Sanderson’s books, but one of the core principles of all Cosmere healing is that it works by aligning your physical body to your Spiritual Ideal. So Kaladin’s depression and his slave brands don’t heal, because he sees those as part of who he is, but Lopen could regrow his arm with Light because he never defined himself by the lack of an arm. Or at the climax of Elantris, where the transformation heals some of Aiden’s mental issues because he sees those as something to be cured. It’s not anything to do with the nature of the physical or mental damage, it’s all about whether you see that as part of yourself.
So in your case, your depression could be healed, because you don’t view depression as being part of who you are, but your vision issues probably could not because you define yourself by them.
Mind you, my visual impairment — and the ways it physically and socially imedes my life many times a day — is one of the sustaining forces in my depression. I went many years with the visual impairment and not the depression, but it’s no accident that the depression descended shortly before I unwillingly left collefe for the “independent adult” world where accommodations and friendships are much harder to get. Physical and chemical though depression is, I don’t know if even stormlight could cure it long-term without changes to the underlying environmental factor. And if I knew other people were getting cured of visual impairments that weren’t so inextricably tied to their experience of life, I would be angry and miserable. Maybe stormlight isn’t as enviable as I thought. (Mind you, it frustrates me that some types of visual impairment can be cured by real-world medicine and mine can’t, so things might not be so different.)