Bridget McGovern and I were discussing our shared dislike of the character Zoe on Lost. She said, “I’m going to start writing fanfic about all the ways Zoe could be made to disappear…like a Gashlycrumb Tinies with only one character.” I am a big fan of Lost and of Edward Gorey, two great tastes that have not, until now, gone together. With Bridget’s enthusiastic approval, I stole the idea and made the poem below, celebrating the many and varied deaths of Lost.
The Gashlycrumb Losties
A is for Arzt who was blown up sky high
B is for Boone who bled out through his thigh
C is for Charlie, courageously drowned
D is for Danielle, left dead on the ground
E is for Eko, killed not by his brother
F is for Faraday, shot by his mother
G is for Goodwin whose chest was impaled
H is for Horace who poison inhaled
I is for Inman, head bashed all to hell
J is for Juliet, squished down a well
K is for Karl, shot through a canteen
L is for Locke whose demise was foreseen
M is Minkowski whose nose bled and bled
N is for Nikki, interred, presumed dead
O for Omar who caught a grenade
P is for Pickett who Juliette slayed
Q is for Questions left dead in the plot
R is for Rom, shot shot shot shot shot shot
S is for Shannon. I’m glad she’s no more
T is for Tom who took lead on the shore
U is for something beginning with U
V is for Vincent, who’s not dead, it’s true
W is Wayne who Kate blew up at home
X is for Xtra-hard alphabet poem
Y is for Yemi who crashed in a jet
Z is for Zoe who hasn’t died yet
When Jason Henninger isn’t reading, writing, juggling, cooking or raising evil genii, he works for Living Buddhism magazine in Santa Monica, CA. He is angry that there are no dead Lost characters whose names begin with U and X.
